if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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