The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
