uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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