So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
