some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
