I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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