oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
