apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The air was thick with penises
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
