So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
