you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
