My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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