grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
