Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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