Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
