Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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