just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
