4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This is my gift to your gina
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
