i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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