Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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