Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
