omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
