he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
