On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You dont lie about slip and slides
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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