Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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