drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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