before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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