Your tits are I can't wait for
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
