Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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