So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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