Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize