So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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