i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
