I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
