I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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