What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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