Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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