I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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