I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
