Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
