I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
