1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
