I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
