Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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