dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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