No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
