I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
