do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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