woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
