Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
