i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
