My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
